Technology Does Not Override Chivalry

Tonight I'm straying a bit from my usual date specific details and am going to write a little bit more about something I look for overall in man. I have decided to delve a little deeper into the comments in my previous blog about chivalry.

OK, I'll just put it out there - my motto, my personal requirement, if you will, is...'If they don't open the door, they're not the marrying kind.'

I think that its not too much to ask for a little chivalry here and there. I also don't think that thinking that to begin with takes away from my moderately feminist outlook. I think women should earn as much as men who are doing the same job. I think that some women can do anything that some men can do.

But here is where I get realistic...

I won't ever be able to reach the top shelf of my kitchen cabinets, so its nice to have tall guys around. I will never be able to open jars of pickles, so its nice to have strong guys around. I don't mind paying my way, and I don't mind taking out the trash.

But here is where I get all girlie...

I like it when they at least offer to pick up the check. I like it when a guy just looks at you with that machismo look, flexes his muscles and opens the pickle jar. I like it when they offer to do anything for me that makes my life or my day a little easier.

And above all...without a doubt....I like it when they open the door for me.

I think its nice when men still open the door for me...the few that still do that is. I like it when a guy opens the door and then places his hand on the small of my back to lead me into the room. Although, admittedly, it has been awhile since I've been led into a room. I love that little moment as I settle into the passenger seat and we briefly look into each other's eyes and he has that lopsided grin as he nods and mumbles almost as an afterthought, 'OK?' Then he shuts the door and I get to just watch him for a few uninterrupted seconds as he walks around the car....and no, not watch him in a stalker kind of way, but a 'he's such a great guy, I'm glad we're together' kind of way.

But here's the thing...now that doors open automatically, there's no chance for this to happen!! Why bother to open my car door when a little push of the button while we're 30 feet from the car gets the job done?

When did all of these little moments go out of style? Was it when Gloria Steinem and her masses of feminist followers began burning their bras? Was it when women started hitting the work force in droves? Was it when women started gaining their independence?

Was this when men decided, by some unspoken understanding amongst themselves, that if we women could open doors for ourselves metaphorically, then we could certainly open them for ourselves physically?

Or was the decline in chivalry a direct result of the rise in technological advances?

I refuse to believe - or allow - technology to steal these little moments from me!! I refuse to settle for someone that hits the car door button and settles into his seat without a thought to me. I will not end up with someone that, in his excessive use of the automatic doors, forgets how to lead me into a room.

Where will this madness end? Will they soon start sealing pickle jars less tightly so that I can open them myself? Will I have to start dragging the dining room chair over every time I need to get something from the top shelf? Granted, these are things that can be done, but I don't want them done!!

I want those little reminders that I am a woman and they are the man...a reminder that there will always be something that I need from them, there will always be some little way that they can help me out, show me respect, and treat me well. Most of all, its a little reminder that I have someone to help me out, even when I could do it myself, even when I don't ask for it, but might need it.

In the end, isn't that what we all want anyway? Just a little reminder here and there that we aren't alone, that someone is there caring enough for us to do the little things like open a door. I think its because I know that the ones that care enough to do the little things in those small moments are the ones that are strong enough to be there for me when the big moments seem like a little too much to handle on my own.